Frequently Asked Questions

Well, friends, turns out I'm leaving tomorrow and making a straight shot to Lake Buena Vista Florida, also commonly referred to as the Happiest Place on Earth. Y'all seem to have a lot of questions about what the hell I'm going to be doing in Disney World and this is where I'm going to answer them. Or at least to the best of my ability.

Q: How are you getting to Florida?
A: I can't apparate and I need Ringo (my Chevy Blazer). So I'm driving.(And if you got the Harry Potter reference I love you.)

Q: How far of a drive is it from where you are to Disney?
A: Way too damn long. Or, more accurately, 12 hours and 22 minutes according to Google maps.

Q: Are you driving by yourself?!
A: Obviously not. If you have ever, at any point in our friendship, been with me while I'm driving you know that I have terrible driving anxiety. My ever so gracious (and perhaps slightly insane) mother will be accompanying me.

Q: Are you living IN Disney World?
A: As much as I adore all things Disney, living in the parks would probably make me want to bludgeon myself to death with a Mickey Mouse bobble head. So, to answer your question, no. I will be living in housing arranged by Disney that is about 3 miles from the parks.

Q: How long will you be there?
A: Until August 13th. 6 months and 5 days.

Q: Will you be Minnie Mouse?
A: Absolutely not.

Q: Then what are you doing for your internship?
A: I won't know exactly until Monday. But let me tell you what I know, I'm a "recreation" Cast Member. So this could mean anything from water craft rentals, to working on the golf courses, to working with visiting sports teams and competitions, to slide ops at the water parks, to working in fitness centers in the resorts. I'm looking forward to finding out on Monday.

Q: Is this a paid internship?
A: I sure as hell don't work for peanuts.

Q: Have you met anyone else that's going down there?
A: No. That's the beauty in all of this. New places, new faces.

Q: Will this set you back in school?
A: Maybe. Maybe not. To graduate in May of '11 I'm going to have to kick it into overdrive... however this will provide with fabulous writing fodder, and I look forward to drawing on this experience for the rest of my days on this planet.

Q: Do you get into the parks for free?
A: I'm slaving away for the Mouse for 6 months. What do you think?

Q: Can you get ME in for free?
A: I mean... yeah, I could. But I can only get so many people in while I'm there, so chances are you have to be reeeeaaalll important for me to get you in.

Q: How about a discount?
A: I got you. You just have to pay me in cash.


Have more questions? Comment away.
T minus 15 hours to departure.
holy hell.